When I was a young girl, I enjoyed clipping those adorable carton clips which featured couple Kim and Robert. Drawn by Kim Casali, a cartoonist from New Zealand in the 70’s, it never failed to make my younger version wonder: “why don’t they have any clothes?” or “what is true love?”
Discovering these cartoon strip in their digital form today is such a welcome treat. Here’s five of the best that made me rethink that love is indeed a force to reckon with:
1. Love Is….seeing each other in a new light.
My husband and I have been married for 24 years. Seeing my husband today and looking back to who he was in our early years together, I can truthfully say, “where is the man I married?” But then again, “where is the girl that married him?” Couples in very long term relationships often wake up to find themselves married to strangers. Some survive the change and happily adjust. But sadly, most do not.
My friend Heraclitus have this to say: “We both step and do not step in the same rivers. We are and are not.” Marriage is an ever flowing river, we step in and out of the river as different beings… we can’t step into the same river because it is constantly on the move. I’ve realized that my husband is not as happy-go-lucky and makes lesser jokes as compared to when we were just starting out. I guess being parents with tons of responsibilities has changed us. It made my husband more mature, more serious about life and a lot frugal when it comes to finances.
2. Love is…making the most of whatever you have.
Contentment is a very tricky thing in the era of Facebook. It would be easy to believe that everyone’s life is as rosy as it is painted in my friends’ walls. If all the fleet of cars, the grand vacations and all the blings that twinkle are to be believed, my life, compared to them is pretty miserable. It puts such a strain in a couple’s relationship to put up with what others have. Is it worth it that we work harder to acquire more things to make ourselves look better? Or can we be content to live below our means and live the life God intended us to have?
3. Love is…forgiving and forgetting.
I’ve always believed that a happy marriage is indeed a union of two good forgivers! No doubt that two different personalities living in close proximity of each other not only elicit spark but friction, as well. Forgiving each others’ many faults takes a whole life of learning and commitment. It is never easy but by God’s grace, it can be done. Extending compassion and mercy is another side of marriage that needs a lot of work and prayers. When everything is forgiven, the next step is to forget. When there is the temptation to bring up the fault at every opportunity, it’s good to remember that you have chosen to move on and start anew.
4. Love is…letting him have his space.
I remember Kahlil Gibran’s writing on marriage: “…But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.” A wise woman will let her husband miss her a little in the course of the day, so that their reunion will be sweeter by day’s end. My husband will always love his Clash of Clans, his daily news, his night out with his close friends and his other hobbies. I have to psyche myself that it is ok. One way of honoring and respecting him is to allow him to be just himself. My worth will never be dependent on how much attention he showers on me. In the light of God’s love, I know where I stand and confident that come what may, the marriage is protected by Him alone.
5. Love is…comforting him when the world seems to weigh on his shoulders.
Wives are designed by God to be “helpers” to their husbands. The Hebrew word for helper is azar, which means help or support. It does not connote passivity or inferiority. As Drs. Alice Matthews and Gay Hubbard puts it:
“As helper, the woman is not merely standing by her man, handing him a wrench when he needs it. The use of this particular Hebrew word means that he is inadequate without her. To help here means “to share the same tasks.”
Helper or comforter, wives wear these hats with as much grace and fortitude as possible. Most husbands bear the brunt of providing for the family. Even in two income families, wives will always be the nurturer and the husband’s cheerleader wrapped up in one.
I’ve seen my husband at his worst, as most of you have with your partners. It is comforting and humbling to know that at the end of each day, he would prefer to come home and feel safe in the haven of his family. Letting our husbands know that we are behind them and are constantly praying for their well being is both encouraging and comforting. Assuring them of God’s faithfulness and grace in the humdrum of life is a soothing balm to any weary hearts.
- My Valentine This Year
- Over the Valentine’s Weekend
- The Last Holiday
- Come What May
- Pay No Mind to Your Heart